Steve and Thor's Not So Excellent Adventure
by usa123
Summary: Thor enlists Steve's help when he's sent to Midgard to deal with an unruly dwarf. Unfortunately, the mission doesn't go as planned and Steve lands in the hospital on his birthday. Spoilers for the Civil War but no slash, no ships, and no teams.


**A/N: I wanted to post this on the 4th but real life had other plans. I hope you'll enjoy the belated birthday fic all the same.**

 **Special thanks** **to the wonderfully awesome Mellia Bee for the beta. If you haven't checked out her stuff yet, you absolutely should.**

 **Disclaimer: The mythology in this fic was influenced by Rick Riordan and his _Percy Jackson_ series. I own nothing, not even the books.**

* * *

 _2016_

Wakandans were no strangers to wildly unpredictable weather, especially in the middle of their monsoon season. On that day in particular, though there hadn't been a cloud in the sky at breakfast, rain had been sluicing through the air since lunchtime with no sign of letting up. Long-time residents of the area swore they slept the best during these torrential storms, but for those who weren't used to the ferocity of such weather, such as the Avengers who were hiding in Wakanda until the Council investigated their involvement in the "Superhero Civil War", sleep was particularly elusive.

Steve Rogers hadn't slept a full night since...well, Lagos if he was being completely honest. Tonight was no exception as he tossed fitfully in his absolutely massive bed in the guest wing of T'Challa's palace, while rain beat an unforgiving tattoo against the exterior walls.

A new shield leaned up against the nightstand, triangular in shape with a curved top that petered down to a point at the bottom. It was navy in color with a red trim, and was emblazoned with a white star inside a darker blue circle. Not long after Bucky had gone into cryo, T'Challa had offered to design him an exact replica of the original but Steve had turned the offer down. He was too tired of the lies, the deceit, the politics and the secrets to go back; he couldn't be who the country needed him to be right then. This new shield had appeared the next day with a note reading, _Just in case_. At that point, Steve had accepted the gift as a redundancy plan and kept it close in case Ross or his crew would come calling.

A peal of thunder cracked through the sky, jolting Steve into semi-consciousness. On reflex, he dove for his new shield and had shoved it onto his arm before his brain woke enough to recognize the sound as thunder, and not gunfire or an explosion.

He released his shield and collapsed against the carpeted floor, trying to force his heart rate into a slower rhythm.

"Are you alright?" a voice asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

For the second time in as many minutes, Steve armed himself with his shield and snapped into a defensive posture. It was only then that he looked at his future assailant and recognized Thor standing in front of him in full Asgardian dress.

Cursing under his breath, Steve dropped gracelessly into a sitting position, legs akimbo, but kept his shield on his arm; at the rate tonight was going, he'd need it again soon.

"What did we say about knocking, Thor?" he asked, scrubbing at his face with his left hand while he tried to regulate his breathing.

"But your door was open and you were awake."

"It doesn't matter."

Thor nodded thoughtfully, as if filing away that information. "I am sorry Steve," he continued after a moment. "I did not mean to frighten you."

"Consider it forgotten." As he spoke, Steve held out his left hand and allowed Thor to help pull him to his feet. "How did you find us?" he asked once he was vertical again.

"Heimdall. He has been watching your Earth closely these past few weeks."

"Does that mean we're in danger?"

"Not at this time." To emphasize his point, Thor reached out and clasped Steve's shoulder reassuringly. "I was sent here to deal with an issue regarding one of our own but I insisted on stopping in Wakanda first." The demigod then shifted his weight between feet before looking up and meeting Steve's gaze. "I heard about your feud with Tony. I wish I could have been there to mediate but my warriors and I have been struggling to keep the peace in the Realms. We have had a great many disturbances pop up of late and are, as you humans say, 'stretched thin'."

"There was nothing you could have done," Steve ground out, the subject still raw two months later. His words were not just said to comfort Thor though: Steve firmly believed the Accords would have been ratified with or without the Asgardian's presence, and that the Siberia fight could have been avoided entirely if he had only told Tony his suspicions. That's not to say Tony would have accepted the news cheerily and no tension would have arisen between them, but it would have avoided the massive blow-up where no one had won and everyone had experienced some form of hurt.

Thor must have recognized Steve's strained tone, for he didn't press the issue. "And how is your friend James? Heimdall can sense that he is alive but has had a most difficult time finding out any other information. He asked me to clarify with you in order to better hone his ability."

"Bucky's in cryo-freeze." Thor's face fell but Steve just shrugged. "His choice. Until they can figure out how to disable the trigger words in his head."

"I am sorry to hear that. However, if it was his choice, it must be respected."

Steve's only response was an absent nod since he had told himself a variation of that phrase thousands of times since Bucky had gone. Before a lump could build in his throat, he hurriedly changed subjects. "So what's wrong with the other Asgardian?"

"Vestri is not Asgardian," Thor corrected with a chuckle. "He was created by my Father but was never a part of our Realm."

To Steve's sleep-deprived brain, that sounded like the same thing but he nodded as if convinced by the difference. "Okay so who's Vestri?"

"He is one of the dwarfs that holds up your sky."

Steve, who had experienced Chitauri, flying helicarriers, and the future in general, didn't so much as blink at Thor's revelation. "Why is Vestri on Heimdall's radar?"

"Over the last year, he has become increasingly anxious and is demanding more recognition for his job. Heimdall received word he's trying to offload his responsibility to another, so you Midgardians will be more appreciative."

"Can anyone else hold up the sky?" Steve asked, though he already suspected he knew the answer.

"Not permanently," Thor confirmed. "Vestri and his three brothers were created specifically for this purpose; no other creature possesses the strength."

"What exactly will happen if the sky touches the earth?"

"As it has never happened before, I am only able to guess. Our own end is prophesied by the sky cracking in half, the sun and moon being swallowed by giant wolves, the earth and sky burning, monsters being unleashed, and every living thing (gods and human alike) perishing. Given the massive amount of power in both your earth and sky, I cannot imagine their union would be any less destructive."

Steve nodded grimly. "So we need to convince Vestri to keep holding up his corner of the sky."

"Yes. But we also need to find out where this unease is coming from. Vestri has been doing his job happily for thousands of years and has never once complained. Someone must be feeding this anger to him, for what purpose I do not yet understand." Thor paused and quirked his head to the side. "I don't suppose you would want to come with me? It is possible that Vestri is not alone and I would appreciate your company."

Steve considered this for less than a second before he nodded vigorously. He'd long since healed from the Siberia fight and was itching to get back into the world. Though he wasn't ready to be Captain America again, he was ready to be of use in a smaller, less conspicuous capacity. "Where are we going?"

"Kansas," Thor stated. Then he eyed Steve critically and the soldier realized for the first time that he was clad in only a pair of boxer shorts. "But you might want to change first."

"Meet you outside in five," Steve said, grabbing a pile of clothes off his dresser and racing toward the bathroom.

* * *

Steve had learned a long time ago that the easiest way to fly with Thor was basically the demigod giving him the equivalent of a piggyback ride. That approach left Thor's hands free for steering Mjölnir and his line of sight unobstructed.

That being said, it was awkward as hell but neither warrior tried to dwell too much on it. Thankfully, time with Mjölnir moved in a different dimension and before Steve knew it, they had arrived in an abandoned strip mall in Central Kansas.

"This is the West corner of the world?" Steve queried as he disentangled himself from Thor's robe.

"It moves with the skies and the tides but yes, currently, it resides here," Thor replied, making a grand gesture to the area around him. He then raised Mjölnir above his head and his robes began to transform into battle armor. Steve took this as his cue to unstrap his shield and slide it onto his arm.

He waited until Thor had lowered Mjölnir to ask, "So what's the plan?"

"We will talk to Vestri and hopefully make him see reason. If another is there, I will engage him while you keep him from further influencing Vestri."

Steve's grin turned into a scowl as he had been hoping for more action but he quickly shook the thought off, as anything was better than the stillness of his room in Wakanda.

He gestured with his shield for Thor to lead then followed the demigod into the strip mall.

* * *

"Vestri my old friend!" Thor boomed as they walked into an off-rack clothing store. While it was indeed empty of any merchandise, the racks, counters and signs still persisted, giving the store an eerie look. There was a large unobstructed tile circle in the center of the room, where a small figure crouched, his muscles straining even from this distance. On first glance, he didn't appear to be holding anything but then Steve saw a small shimmer emanating from his shoulders and, when he really focused, the part that was shimmering took on a slightly darker hue than the rest of the air.

"Thor," the dwarf spat, looking up from the ground with great effort. He looked every bit like Steve had expected, from the muscular stature, thinning hair and ruddy cheeks to the long white beard. "What brings your Royal Highness to an abandoned place like this?"

"Vestri, you know why this place must be abandoned. We cannot risk the humans finding out what you do."

"Why not? Maybe then they will appreciate this hardship you have forced upon me."

"What has brought this along Vestri? You have held up their sky for centuries without complaint."

"Maybe that was my problem!" Vestri shouted then groaned as the shimmer dipped. The dwarf fell silent then, with a mighty yell, straightened up slightly, pushing the sky back to where it had been. "Too many people just expecting the sky to stay separate from the ground. Mortals don't even know that I'm here, that I'm the reason they're still around!"

Vestri's gaze snapped around to focus on Steve. His look was so sharp and deadly that Steve physically reacted to it by throwing up a hand to shield his eyes.

"Mortals like this one! Tell me boy, what are you taught about the sky?"

Steve wasn't sure how to answer but something in the dwarf's tone compelled him to speak. "Well...we have an atmosphere which allows us to breathe. It also is what separates us from—"

"But nothing about me?" Vestri interjected.

Steve shook his head.

"See what this mortal world has come to Thor? They no longer believe in us, in me—in you! You had to reappear to save their worthless lives before they realized they weren't the only form of life out there. Why am I killing myself to keep them alive?" The parts of the sky closest to Vestri crackled with visible bolts of energy.

"Thor…" Steve pulled his shield closer to his chest but continued to wait for the demigod to dictate the next move.

"The Earth is under my protection Vestri! Harm them in any way and you will have to face the þing."

The dwarf's eyes flashed again and Steve's senses revved into high alert. "Thor?" he warned again, this time a little louder.

"You should listen to your friend, Thor Odinson," Vestri said, his expression softening as his voice dropped in volume. "For my destiny was decided the moment you stepped through that door."

Thor must have not noticed the difference for he took another step closer. "Do not do this, Vestri, I beg of you."

"I have seen the way things could be," Vestri stated, the anger in his eyes dissolving into a dreamlike haze. "Without me and my kind doing such thankless work. Without Earth, the realms will have so much more. And what they do with their new resources…" Vestri just let out a long exhale as the corners of his mouth tipped up. "Beautiful."

"Vestri—"

"Thor, he's not thinking of his own accord," Steve cut in, having seen that trance before.

As if on cue, Vestri's expression went completely blank. "It is started," the dwarf stated before he stepped out from beneath the sky.

Steve was already in motion, pushing past a stunned Vestri and throwing himself into a dive. He barely managed to slide his hands underneath the shimmering mass, catching it less than two inches off the ground. His palms immediately began to burn, hot and intense, at the initial contact but Steve didn't pull back, _couldn't_ pull back. A split second later, the weight of the sky descended on his hands and it took everything he had to keep from screaming.

The sky was unlike anything he'd ever lifted before: heavy, dense, pulsing with energy and physically painful; it took every ounce of strength he had to keep the sky those few measly inches away from the Earth. Small sparks of energy jumped off the mass and into the ground and Steve knew he had to lift it higher, despite his hands _begging_ to just let it go.

As red tinged his vision and his muscles strained like they never had before, Steve scooted forward and used the points of his elbows as leverage to raise his hands another inch off the ground. The strain on his body increased exponentially and Steve was shaking so badly he was afraid his hands were going to slip.

"Thor," he ground out as he braced his upper arms against his chest to keep them from sliding. He could barely see, barely hear: there was nothing but this mass that was fighting desperately to connect with the ground.

But he couldn't let go, not even to ease his own pain—not when the literal fate of the world was at stake.

He took a shaky, halting breath and dug deep within his supersoldier reserves for the additional strength. Then, with a loud cry, he threw the sky into the air with all he had left, simultaneously bending forward enough to get one shoulder beneath it. His back exploded in pain but he continued to shift until both shoulders and the shield evenly shared the burden. As he was reaching up with his hands to take some of the additional weight, the sky crashed back down on him and he bowed forward with the incredible weight.

From this angle, he was now able to see two blurs fighting but was in so much agony he could barely focus on what was happening. His eyes unfocused of their own accord and he groaned as the sky surged forward.

"I'm losing it, Thor," Steve ground out as his world washed out in red.

He only barely heard Thor call his name and, with a monumental effort he shouldn't have been capable of, cracked open an eye to see Vestri rolling toward him.

Steve summoned his last vestiges of strength and straightened up as much as he could, raising the sky a few precious inches. Then, Vestri crashed into him and Steve allowed himself to roll back, praying he hadn't misinterpreted Thor's plan.

He was too tired to even open his eyes but he heard no explosion and was still excessively aware of every screaming muscle so he figured he hadn't died...which meant Vestri was once again holding up the sky.

Then something moved over him, blocking the light that was searing into his closed eyelids.

"Are you okay?" Thor demanded, forcing one of Steve's eyes open.

The soldier forced out a half-nod, then spiraled into unconsciousness.

* * *

"You back with us, Steve?"

The soldier wanted to ignore the raspy voice, to go back to his blissful, pain-free sleep, but, for some reason, he found himself unable to do so.

"You're going to need to open your eyes then."

 _Really? Cos that seemed like a lot of unnecessary effort_.

"I can't understand you Steve."

 _Fine._

Up until that point, he hadn't known it was possible for eyelids to hurt so badly. Cracking one open just enough to see Natasha sitting in front of him was enough of a shock to his system that he almost lost consciousness again. It was only the concerned expression on her face that kept him grounded and forced him to breathe through it.

Natasha then smiled softly. "You know, if you wanted to skip your birthday party, you just had to say so. You didn't have to go joyriding with Thor and end up in the hospital."

Only one word there really caught Steve's attention.

"'rthd'y?" he repeated, though the act of speaking felt like someone was sticking a knife through his throat.

"Yes," she said as she filled him a glass of water and helped him drink it. "It's 3:06 AM on Monday, July 4th, which makes it your birthday, last time I checked."

"You weren't supposed to throw me a party," Steve tried to say but the words all came out in one garbled blur. Fortunately, Nat seemed to understand.

"I didn't. I was just sent an invitation from a 'mysterious source'," she replied, adding finger quotes around the last bit for good measure.

Steve was fairly certain she was mispronouncing 'Wanda, Clint and Scott' but didn't have the strength to correct her.

"Before you protest too much, apparently turning ninety-eight here is a big deal. T'Challa has already rescheduled your party for when you're back on your feet."

 _How generous_ , Steve thought but allowed the subject to drop. He felt the pull of whatever was pumping through his IV and wanted, with his last bits of consciousness, to discuss a more important topic.

"Thor?"

"After dropping you off here, he waited until you were out of Wakandan surgery, then left to consult with his father. Apparently there are only a few forces he knows of that can have that sort of influence on others and," she paused for dramatic effect, "none of them are good."

Steve could only nod his understanding.

"Before you ask, Vestri is still holding up his corner of the sky in Kansas. According to Thor, he snapped out of whatever had possessed him after you lost consciousness and begged forgiveness." Natasha sat back down in her chair, crossed her legs, intertwined her hands over her knees, then continued, "I don't suppose you asked Thor what exactly you were going up against before you left?"

Steve found the energy to narrow his eyes at her.

Natasha chuckled. "You'd ask the same of me if our positions were reversed."

"Needed…t'get…out."

"Next time, you'll take a safer alternative. The Dora Milaje run a mean training session that will tire even you out."

Steve shrugged noncommittally, not having the mental reserves to make a definite commitment.

Natasha however had other ideas. "I'll take that to mean you'll think about it," she said with a grin. Then, she reached out and rubbed the back of Steve's hand, mindful of his IV. "There's one more thing we need to discuss…"

That's when Steve's heart dropped into his stomach. Adrenaline racing through his system, he sat up ever so slightly, prepared for the worst.

With her free hand, Natasha motioned for him to lay back down. "It's not about Barnes or your health," she backtracked as she continued to massage his hand. "Just your cosmetic look."

"What?"

Natasha pulled out the trace-free phone T'Challa had given her and snapped a picture. She then held the phone out, allowing Steve to see a photo of his bruised face and...the thick swatch of gray, almost white, hair around his left temple?

"It's very Reed Richards," she teased, "but the serum is working on it. The whole half of your head was white when they brought you in."

"Uh-huh," Steve managed as his eyelids tried to drift closed. He bit down on his tongue, the pain bringing an additional shot of adrenaline, and mumbled, "You're...'kay?"

Natasha chuckled. "I'm not living in Stark Tower being waited on hand and foot but I'm surviving. About as well as you from the looks of it."

"Good." Steve cleared his throat to speak again but was interrupted by Natasha.

"I'll save you the trouble: no, I will not tell Barnes. Not unless it becomes relevant."

"'re the best."

"Consider it my birthday gift to you," Natasha finished as if he hadn't spoken.

Then she stood up from her chair, leaned over his bed, and the next thing Steve knew, her hand was on his forehead, brushing the bangs out of his face. "Get some sleep, Steve," she whispered.

The soldier nodded, then surrendered to the pull of the extra-strength Wakandan drugs.

Seconds before his world faded out, Steve heard Natasha add, "And happy birthday."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading!**


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